So, About Friday Night...

Friday 28th February is going to be etched in my memory forever. 

All thanks to my mister, 3 good friends, and a band called Black Stone Cherry. 

OH.MY.GOD. 

It was a very very special gig, and I seriously can't wait for their UK tour in the Autumn. It was different to any usual gig - there were pauses between songs where the audience could ask questions. Which was so cool! I think my favourite was the guy who asked what he should name his daughter - whilst pointing at the very expanded womb of the woman next to him. With the first song to come out from their new album being called "Me and Mary Jane", there was only ever one answer. It was so funny- we bumped into them outside and it was a case of "oh hey Mary Jane and Mum and Dad!".  They were getting that from a lot of people I think. 

As always with Black Stone Cherry, every song they played was amazing. The setlist was chosen by the fans (which I didn't even realise was going on, what a spanner!), and it was cracking. I can't even tell you how much I love this band! The venue was Koko in Camden, and I was really surprised and pleased that once the security guard had escorted me and my wheels into place, with Uberman as my carer, she let the others stay with us, which was awesome. 

Mega highlights songwise - Ghost of Floyd Collins, In My Blood, Such A Shame, Soul Creek, and probably my favourite song to hear live ever - Things My Father Said. If you read my Download Festival review, you will know that that performance had me (and many others, including band members) in tears. It's a hugely powerful song, and to hear several hundred people singing every word is spine tingling. Goosebumps and hair raising, the works. It was just amazing. 

After it had finished, my amazing security lady/bodyguard, Sandra, refused to let us go until it had cleared down a bit. This was a bit of a blessing in disguise. I feel slightly really bad, because the Uberman had gone down to the merch stand to look for a hoodie for me, and they wouldn't let him back in. I was facing forwards in my wheels, when my friends started looking at me funny - almost like I'd grown a second head. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and when I looked round, John Fred Young, BSC's drummer was right there! I didn't know how to react at all, I was like a cat in headlights! He was lovely, asked us about the show, and then posed for a couple of pictures with us. Minus Uberman. Whoops. Az uploaded to Facebook, and everyone assumed he had taken the picture... I really do feel bad! 

*I may also have touched his hair. It was amazing!

We finally got to make our way down, and we still had quite a wait for our taxi home, so we waited by the tour bus. Which had a parking ticket. Haha! We were down by the front, whereas everyone else had crowded around the doors waiting for the band to come out. I get a bit freaked out being in a crowd when I'm in my wheels, so waiting by the front was the best solution. At that point, the drum tech appeared - and asked us if we wanted some signed drumsticks! We couldn't say no, so we came away with those and a drum skin for Mel. 

We stayed where we were, being thoroughly entertained by a man off his tits dancing with his reflection in the door of the Purple Turtle, when Chris Robertson, BSC's singer came by and got on the bus. He looked thoroughly exhausted, I did feel for him. He came back down off the bus, and asked us if we had enjoyed the show. We replied with a big yes, and told him he looked so tired, to which he agreed, and there was kind of an unspoken thing that we wouldn't ask for photos or autographs. He was then mobbed, and we just sat back chilling. There were two American ladies by us, and all of a sudden one of them asked us whether we'd had a picture with him, or gotten an autograph. We told her no, because he just looked shattered- and she just went and grabbed him and brought him over to us. He was lovely, posed for photos, and signed my ticket. So thank you, slightly bonkers American lady, and to John Fred, Chris and the drum tech for being bloody awesome. 

Just before our cab arrived, man off his tits decided to stand behind Chris who was posing for photos and things, and yell out some BSC lyrics. In the most drunken, drugged, London trash accent ever. It was the funniest thing! I didn't get to see the look on Chris' face, but it must have been classic, because another guy just said "Welcome to London!". Hilarious.

My body is thoroughly broken (thanks to hitting the most enormous fucking pothole in the world on the way there! GAH. On the way home, the road was closed, and there were two cars minus their front wheels. That gives you some idea of just how big it was. Grrrr. I HATE POTHOLES!!!), but it was worth it for a gig that I will always remember as one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of attending. So thank you to Uberman, Mel, Az, Carl, Black Stone Cherry, Random OffHisTitsMan, Crazy American Lady and Lunatic Taxi Driver for making it a bloody brilliant night. All I want to do is rewind and do it all again!

I will leave you with some pictures!

\m/ Can it be tour time yet?! \m/ 

Wibble Wobble, Wibble Wobble, Shelley On The Floor

I'm quite proud of that title heh.

Yesterday I wasn't at my best but I had two hospital appointments to go to, so off I went. I had the ultrasound on my thumb, and my tendons are all intact,which is grand. Yet it doesn't explain why my thumb isn't working. So follow up is March 13th. We shall see what that brings. 

After that, I had my first therapy session. Unlike standard therapy, the type I am under going is chronic pain focused, so the therapist has a real understanding of the causes of how I feel. It was my first of 8 sessions. I'm not ready to share what we talked about yet, but I may well do here in the future. 

By the time we were finished I was starting to feel very gammy. My throat was all scratchy, and my sinuses felt blocked. The cold racing round my family at a rate of knots got me. Utter bastard. As always with a cold/virus, it went straight to my ears. Last night I was alternating the wheat bag between my ears, and feeling very unwell. My balance went to who knows where, and had it not been for the Uberman and my bed rail, I would have hit the floor. Mum and Dad had popped out to Lidl, so bought me back a little pot of Ben and Jerry's for my throat. We watched some Archer and then I had a fairly horrible night. 

This morning I got up, ready to come and get into my nest. I stood up, felt a bit chesty but my ears didn't hurt, huzzah! I made my way with my frame into the front room, where my nest was waiting. I leave it reclined as it's in such a comfortable position. I moved my frame to get ready to sit, and then all of a sudden I was sat on the floor, my ribs whacked against the reclined leg area of the chair, and subluxed the same hip I dislocated yesterday. I'm not going to lie, I cried like a little girl before getting myself up and into my nest. I have had a very very quiet day since, and am determined to feel better tomorrow. Tomorrow is a VERY EXCITING DAY. I am off to see one of my favourite bands, Black Stone Cherry. No cold or virus is going to stop me being there - even if it means I spend the rest of the weekend flared and poorly. I am taking Betsy Blue Wheels, and going with the Uberman, Mel and Carl. We're travelling by cab, because frankly,the majority of the London Underground is chuffing useless for disabled passengers. Particularly the Camden area, which is always so busy. Either way, I am a very excited Aporia. 2 hours and 45 minutes of Black Stone Cherry, fan selected setlist, some new material and Q&A's. Woooop!

Tomorrow is also a slightly worrying day, as my Mum is having an operation on her wrist (bra doing up and undoing is going to be hilarious, her wrist will be casted and my thumb doesn't work!). So any good wishes for her would be greatly appreciated. She's been having problems with it for a very long time (as a result of an injury when she was younger than I am now), so I really hope this helps her. It's a day surgery, so hopefully she'll be home before I leave. I'll feel much better about going to BSC knowing she's okay.

So now I'm signing out. My plan is to have some nice warm porridge for dinner, have a nice hot shower, watch some Castle (I've just gotten into Castle, LOVE it!) and get an early night, which will hopefully kick this virus in the arse, and help with the added pain from stacking it earlier. 

Tip of the day: don't fall on a recliner. Ow. 

LBLC: Three Things That Made Me Happy Today

Hello!

Last night, the lovely Louise from the LBLC decided that it would be a nice idea to take a moment today to blog about 3 things that have made us happy. It's been a strange day today, so mine may sound a little bit weird, but they made me happy all the same. 

1. My Dad was off sick from work today (told you they would sound a little weird haha!). Although he was poorly, and I am headed the same way, it was so lovely to have company. We watched Dark Shadows, which I was surprised he even chose to watch, let alone like! Then we put Snow White and The Huntsman on, and I fell asleep. Whoops. It was nice though. 

2. My new Skullcandy headphones are amazing. I'm cheating a wee bit with this one, as I bought them last week, but was using them at 2am (which is today!), and the quality is fab. 

3. I have some lovely lovely friends. To CY, KT, LL, KH, RO'B, SK and AH, thank you for listening to my ramblings and ravings. You all help to keep me afloat, and I am so grateful for you all. 

So there are my three happies of the day. As this is a happy post, everything else today is irrelevant. 

If you have three happies you want to share, please link me to them - I'd love to have a read :)

A Little Update

It will be little this time, I promise!

I now have a new splint for my hand, a thumb spika. My fingers are free, huzzah! 8 days until scan day. The lovely ladies at Hand Therapy have given me Oval-8 splints for my pinkie, ring and middle fingers on both hands, as the hyperextension shocked them a bit. So far they seem to be really helping, but they aren't pretty at all haha! I'm planning to try and jazz them up a bit with nail polish and gems haha!

My neck is still unfunky. The time has flown by! I'm back sleeping in my bed now, because I missed my electric blanket and also I can be just as uncomfortable out there as I was in here on the sofa!

There is a whole shitstorm going down with my local council and ATOS right now. I'm reluctant to go into details, but thankful that I have a local councillor and also my local MP on my side. I was so angry yesterday that I dropped the C-Bomb in front of my Mum. Whoops. I apologised for saying it in front of her, but not for saying it, as I meant it. REALLY meant it. 

I'm starting to plan what I'm going to do for EDS Awareness Month this year. If anyone has any ideas, please leave me a comment, as I'm a bit stumped!

I Broke Myself. Again.

G'day dingos! (not sure why I said that, but I like it, so it can stay.)

So as you can tell from the title of this post, I haven't had the best of weeks. It started with a reflux attack on Friday 7th. I woke up choking, and it irritated my lungs a bit. On Sunday, whilst rolling around B&M on my Betsy Blue Wheels (my electric wheelchair, I LOVE her!), I had a massive coughing fit, and felt a click in my neck. I started to feel quite unfunky, and when I got home, I went straight to sleep. This should have triggered the warning bells, as when I hurt myself badly, my body reacts by shutting down. I was woken up for dinner, then not long after I went back to bed. Still oblivious as to what was happening, other than my neck being sore from the click.

I woke up on Monday morning and all hell broke loose. I was in a ridiculous amount of pain, and the slightest turn of my neck sent an agonising pain rushing through the back of my head, and blurring my vision. I spent the day in my onesie, with my Gryffindor scarf wrapped around it to keep it warm. At about 3pm I went back to bed, to try and see if I could sleep it off, to no avail. After being ranted at by my mum and brother, I agreed they could call 111, hoping they would send a doctor out to me. Instead, I got an ambulance. Oh joy. 

The paramedics were absolutely lovely, did some quick research on EDS and helped me as best they could. Thankfully, they didn't feel the need to put me on a spinal board (I bloody hate those things!), so they wheeled me out, accompanied with a canister of Entonox and my Mum. You know how they write all the info on their gloves? Lady paramedic literally ran out of room on them by the time I'd finished giving her all of my health problems, meds and the problem I was experiencing. That amused me a bit. 

I was transferred into a cubicle at A&E, and given more Entonox. After about an hour and a half, a nurse came to do my observations, and said she would get me some morphine. Another half hour later, she arrived with codeine. I really didn't care what they gave me to be perfectly honest, I was most worried about the pressure building in my head and the blurred vision. Finally a doctor arrived. He tried to blag that he knew about EDS, but it was absolutely blatant that he had no idea. He came back another 45 minutes or so later, saying he had spoken to the consultant and that I had a severe case of spasmodic torticollis resulting from a bad sprain to my neck. He also told me that EDS would have no effect on vertebrae. HA. Shows just how little he actually knows about it. A hefty dose of diazepam later, plus a recommendation that I was sent to the pain clinic for medication review, and that I needed to see my GP within the next two days, I was allowed to go home. 

It has been an extremely uncomfortable few days to say the least. I spoke to my GP on the phone, and he prescribed diazepam, but as yet there has been no improvement. I had a horrible incident where my head turned in my sleep, which caused pain so intense I woke up and cried for an hour. I don't like crying, so I know it's bad when I do. 

I was booked in to see my GP yesterday anyway, so off I went. He had a feel around my neck, said I had narrowly avoided being sent back to the hospital, and upped my diazepam. He basically said that the pain clinic was pointless, they would just mess around with my usual meds which would be of no benefit to me. I mentioned the research I had done in to upright MRI scans, and he agreed to refer me back to neurology with the aim being a referral to one of the clinics in London which does them. So fingers crossed there. 

Obviously this further setback has not helped my mental state, and I am really struggling. However I am going to be seeing the pain focused psychologist at Greenacres, which will hopefully help.

I find it incredibly ironic that my third ride in an ambulance came exactly a year and 6 days since my last one. The time has gone so quickly, and I am no further on - in fact, I am worse than before. I just hope that I will finally get some answers soon. In the meantime, I will leave you with a couple of selfies I took in A&E (I don't remember taking them haha!) to chuckle at. 

Yes, I went in my Zebra onesie. They still didn't get it.

Not The Happiest Of Updates

Hello Everyone.

Firstly, I apologise in advance, as this is likely to be a long and rambly post, and not a hugely positive one. Sometimes it's just hard to be positive about a chronic illness. 

The truth is, I haven't been feeling anywhere close to positive for some time. I have had so many kicks when I'm down for the last year in particular. Every time I thought I had taken a step forward, along came something to kick me back by 3 or 4 steps. It's been really hard to deal with.

A couple of years ago I had some CBT and relaxation therapy, which was not perfect for me by any means, but I did take some useful stuff away from it. So when things have seemed dark, I've employed those and been able to lift myself back up. 

Around the time I found out that nobody was helping with my back, that my feet were effectively useless, and that my goal of going to RNOH in Stanmore was temporarily (still is!) blocked off, I felt like a huge, heavy black blanket had draped itself over my head and shoulders, and no matter what I did, I couldn't lift it. None of my CBT techniques were working. So it was a case of putting on a brave face (a mask, I guess) when I was around others, making everything look fine. Inside, I was in total limbo. The world was rotating around me but I was stood dead still in the middle, locked in with my feelings which I just couldn't get rid of. 

Christmas and New Year came, which lifted me a bit. All too soon they were gone though, and then I hurt my hand. That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and I realised that I couldn't keep on like I was. I have to stress that at no point have I ever felt suicidal, or like I was going to self harm. I just feel like a big useless lump who feels indescribably guilty about how my life impacts on those around me. Some words intended to be nothing more than a simple statement have really hit my self esteem hard, and the blunt truth is, I truly hate myself right now. 

I went to see my GP, who is a lovely lovely man, and told him everything. He had asked me on previous appointments how I was doing, and I had pretended everything was fine. It clearly wasn't, so he wasn't surprised when I finally admitted it - he said he had seen it for himself. So maybe my mask wasn't as good as I thought it was after all. 

He has put me onto Fluoxetine (aka Prozac), and I have a diagnosis of severe depression. On the 14th Feb we will be reviewing how I am, and looking at a referral to speak to someone who specializes in depression caused by chronic pain. When I spoke to my physio yesterday, she told me she knew of a brilliant guy based at the hospital, and she was going to liaise with my GP about referring me to him. (Something positive, finally!)

I wanted to post this to try and give me somewhere to write it down and get it out there. I don't have to hide it anymore, and with the help of my LBLC ladies, I have realised that it isn't something to be ashamed of. I am not going to say I feel instantly better, because I don't. I know full well this isn't going to be a short term thing. But I know that there are things and people there to help me. So I'm taking my first step down my own zebra brick road, and who knows where it will lead. 

A Much Needed Overhaul

Hello!

As you can see, I've given my little space on the internet a bit of a freshen up. The black was all a bit too much, and I've tried to make it a bit more accessible. If anyone has any problems reading, please let me know! 

An update on all things Aporia will be hitting the internet tomorrow. It's going to be a long one. You have been warned haha! 

So... It's Been A While!

I apologise for a long absence. The main reason for this is that on the 4th January, I had a freak accident and have done some damage to my hand. I lasted 5 whole days into 2014 before having to visit A&E. A new record! Humph. I now have a moulded thermoplastic splint which has support for my index and middle fingers, and a Spika support for my thumb. My fingers have regained movement, which is great, but my thumb is in a very sorry state. I am waiting for an ultrasound scan on it, to take a look at all the soft tissue and also the joint itself. I got the appointment letter today, and it is for the 26th of February. It feels like forever away! 

You don't realise just how important your dominant hand is until you can't use it. I can't grip at all at the moment. Bras are utterly impossible, as are cans of drink, or any packets that need to be opened. It also means I can't crochet. Or play my lovely Xbox that I got for Christmas. *cries*. Which means I am terribly terribly bored. I am going to start a jigsaw I think.

So yes. After a really lovely Christmas (technically Christmases, I got to enjoy one at home, then an extra two with the Uberman's family, as some were there on the day, and then some more came over on Boxing Day!), January has been fairy unpleasant to me so far. My back has been misbehaving terribly, and I am currently waiting for a prescription of Diazepam after a particularly violent sublux at the weekend sent my muscles into spasm. Unimpressed doesn't cut it, I am thoroughly fed up. 

I will be back soon, hopefully with a more positive post. It hurts my hand a lot to type, but I'm going to set up some speech recognition software to try and help with that :)

Festive Favourites!

Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La!

It's 8 Days until Christmas, and the LBLC are feeling festive. So lovely Louise decided a Festive Favourites post was in order. Which makes me happy. I bloody LOVE Christmas! It's so beautiful, colourful and bright, and I take huge amounts of pleasure in watching other people open their gifts. I love the smiles on their faces! 

So without further ado, here are my...

Favourite Christmas Carol

I am not a religious person, but there is something about "O Come All Ye Faithful" which resonates with me. It's hauntingly beautiful, and one day I would love to go to a big carol concert and hear it. 

Favourite Christmas Song

Now this is a tough one! I am a mega fan of Christmas songs. I've had the music channels on pretty much every day since the 1st December! I think I can narrow it down to three. Which is not the objective here at all. I fail heh. Still. 3 you will get!

Darlene Love - All Alone On Christmas

It's totally underrated, and makes me feel so festive! 

Queen - Thank God It's Christmas

I love Queen, and this is a corker. I haven't seen much of it on the music channels this year though :(

Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody

This song is very bittersweet for me. I've loved it since I was a little girl. My family are all very into Christmas, and none more so than my Uncle Nick. He was Mr Christmas. It took him days to decorate the house, and it always looked amazing. This was his favourite. We lost him to cancer in 2006, but I think of him every time I hear it. 

Favourite Christmas Film

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It doesn't matter how many times I see it, it leaves me in hysterics! 

Favourite Christmas Tradition

When my brother and I were small, the "fairies" used to come overnight and decorate the house for Christmas. On the tree, there was a Robin. He used to watch us, and on Christmas Eve he would fly off to Father Christmas to tell him if we had been good or not. It was an inspired idea on my parents' part, as it made sure we were good in December! One year, they forgot to take him off. Oh the trauma!! We were inconsolable thinking Father Christmas wouldn't come! Now I decorate the tree, and the Robin still watches to make sure everyone is good. And if they are, he flies away on Christmas Eve ;)

Favourite Christmas Present

This is another toughie! As a little person, it would have to be my pram. It was burgundy and beautiful. I was so proud, strutting up and down the street outside our flat! It's on video somewhere *cringe*. As a more grown up person, it would have to be my bottle of Chanel No.5. I felt truly grown up and sophisticated! 

Favourite Christmas Craft

It is only this year that I have started a craft. I always thought I was hopeless at anything crafty, but this year I have taken up crochet and I'm really enjoying it. I am working on Christmas presents at the moment - almost done though! 

Favourite Christmas Food

I love ALL THE FOOD! Haha! I have to go with the Turkey here. My Dad randomly watched a Delia Smith programme years and years ago, on preparing a turkey. He's done it her way ever since, and it is beautiful. And artery clogging! Nom. 

Favourite Christmas Recipe

Again, Delia's Christmas Turkey. Line a tin with foil. Stuff the bird at both ends, one with sausagemeat and one with sage and onion. Smother it with a slab of butter, and cover it in nice cuts of bacon. Build a foil tent over the top, and put it in the oven on a slow heat overnight on Christmas Eve. When we get up in the morning, the smell is divine! We take the bacon off mid morning and munch on that, then the oven is turned up ready to finish it off. It is so flavourful and tender and yummy!

Favourite Christmas Drink

I can't drink alcohol, so my favourite soft drink is J20 Glitter Berry. I can't get enough of the stuff! It's so pretty as well. I like glitter! A special mention also goes out to Orange Hot Chocolate and Mint Hot Chocolate. Lovely stuff. 

So there you have my festive favourites! I would love to hear yours; if you are taking part in this tag, leave a comment with the URL and I'll be sure to stop by! 

An Anniversary... (or should that be an Ankleversary?)

That I don't particularly care for, but is there all the same, passed this weekend. 

Two years ago, on the first weekend in December, I dislocated my ankle on a night out. I was in an eighties club, spinning right round to "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) by Dead or Alive. Only all of a sudden, I wasn't spinning any more, I was slamming into a wall. Ooops. Not thinking too much of it, I relocated it, spent the rest of the night sat down with some ice, then was helped to the cab to go home. Where I just ignored it and went to bed haha! 

The next morning (afternoon... ssh), I got up and was bullied into going to A&E by many family members, who suspected a break. It was all shades of black purple and blue, and very swollen, which is quite unusual for me. I don't tend to swell much. So under protest, off I trotted. The doctor almost fell over when I told her that not only was I stone cold sober at the time I hurt it, I was also in flat shoes. "The unluckiest girl in the world", she said. The X-Ray showed no break (which is very unusual when an ankle dislocates. Unless you're a bendy!), but noting my previous history and the lack of stability, she referred me through to fracture clinic the next day and I was banned from weight bearing. By this point I knew exactly what was coming next...

Plastered, up to the knee. Just in time for Christmas. Perfect timing. Although the Plaster Room staff at my local hospital are bloody brilliant. They are so cheerful, and try to make the best of a bad situation for everyone. So my pretty pink plaster cast was absolutely smothered in glitter! It was as pretty an accessory as it could have been.

My follow up appointment after a few weeks in plaster was a very frustrating appointment, and it was only the fact that I stood my ground which meant a further follow up appointment was made. Unfortunately the clinic was very busy, and after another X-Ray I saw a different Doctor. Who was very unpleasant, refused to believe I had dislocated my ankle and was disgusted that they had wasted time putting me in plaster. He agreed to make a 6 week follow up, but was expecting me to not need it.

Needless to say, I did. I was then referred to the ankle surgeons for an urgent MRI scan, where they discovered that I had totally ruptured my ATFL. In your face, Dr who basically told me I was wasting their time and resources! By this time it was July. I was in surgery a week later. Unfortunately, the ligament was beyond repair, so a graft was taken from another piece of tissue. 

I dutifully did everything I was told, did my physio exercises, but my ankle was still totally unstable. So much so, that when I put weight on it, my ankle bones were touching the floor. This has had a major effect on the rest of my body, and really was the first step on the downward spiral I have gone through with my EDS in the last two years. At my next follow up, I was referred for the radioactive scan, and it was established from those results that I would need a permanent orthotic, known as an AFO. 

I have been using my AFO now for almost a month, and it is helping to stop my ankle running away. It tries to, but there is a big whack of zebra print plastic in the way stopping it. It is still painful, but there is a definite improvement in my frame walking, which is great! 

So how did I decide to mark this anniversary? I was all set to go out for an evening with friends on Saturday, and then make my front room all festive and pretty on Sunday. 

My body clearly had other ideas. I turned my head and kind of left my body behind (epic proprioception fail!), and my neck made a spectacular crunch. Instant agony, pressure in my head, dizziness when I move my neck and pain shooting into my shoulder. It triggered a migraine on Friday (interesting link made there!) which left me in tears. I hate crying about pain, it just grinds my gears. So bang went all my plans. I spent Saturday evening watching Pirates of The Caribbean with the Uberman instead, which was lovely. Sunday morning I was relegated to the sofa while everyone worked around me. That made me quite sad. I love arranging the ornaments in the cabinets, sorting out the fireplace and the garlands. I sat watching everyone else do it, and feeling thoroughly miserable and useless. My real domain though, is my Christmas Tree. I love doing the tree - for me, it is the one thing that means Christmas is on it's way. So I insisted I would be doing the tree. A chair was brought over, and although it took a lot longer than usual, my tree now looks pretty and twinkly. Huzzah! 

So after all that exertion, and a night of very little sleep, I decided a visit to the GP was in order. Every muscle in my neck has gone into a big spasm, so I am now in the early stages of floating on a haze of muscle relaxants. Eep. As long as it helps them settle down, I will settle for being a zombie. I am also under strict orders that if there is any change in sensation or pain level, I go to A&E straight away. Bleh. 

So yes. The first weekend in December is not my friend it would seem! However. The festive season has begun. For this reason, I am happy today even though health wise, things are pretty crappy.

In the battle of happy vs crappy, today's winner is happy. 

I Love Autumn Tag

I have been tagged by the lovely Keshia at Kesizzle's Korner in a post to tell you what I love about Autumn. I cannot lie, I am not Autumn's biggest fangirl. It heralds the fact that Winter is Coming. Eep. There are some things I like though. So without further ado...

1. Favourite Autumn Lip Product?

I am not a major user of lip colours, so my main product is lip balm,to stop chapped lips as the weather gets colder and windier. I used to use Honey Trap by Lush, which I adore, but I'm on the hunt for something a bit less expensive but still animal friendly. Any recommendations?

2. Favourite Autumn Nail Colour?

I don't usually stick to seasons when it comes to Nail Polish. If I fancy wearing a certain colour I will, whether it is in season or not haha! Rebel! However, I liked wearing Color Club - Sparkle and Soar as my Halloween week polish. It is a beautiful bright orange with a golden shimmer through it, which suited Halloween orange but also Autumn leaves. Berry Smoothie by George at Asda is also a lovely polish which suits the end of Autumn and beginning of Winter. 

3. Favourite Autumn Candle Wax Tart?

I am not really allowed to burn candles at home, so I have an electric wax tart burner. I am currently burning a Cherry Cola tart from Candlewick Greens which is lovely, but once it is spent then I am planning to move on to more seasonal scents - Christmassy smells, Cherry Pie, Shortbread... Mmmm... The only downside is, these tarts are so strongly scented that they take forever to burn out!

5. Favourite Autumn Drink?

Hot Chocolate. With cream and marshmallows. Preferably with a shot of orange syrup as well. Yum! It is lovely and relaxing. Soothes and warms you up when you've been out in the cold. Lovely! 

6. Favourite Autumn Scarf or Accessory?

I have a lovely scarf from Tesco with owls on, which I really love. I am wearing it a lot, trying to save my knitted scarves and bits until it's really cold. It's warm enough without being suffocating, meaning I can wear it indoors and outdoors. Lovely jubbly. 

7. Favourite Autumn Hair Style?

I don't tend to change my hair for the seasons. It is usually down and straight. Exciting huh?!

8. Favourite Autumn Activity?

I like going to Garden Centres with my Dad to see what new Christmas decorations are out there each year. Going to see the pretties has been a tradition since I was a small thing, and it doesn't change! I love it. 

9.  Favourite Thing About Autumn?

I like the colours the leaves turn before they drop. The beautiful shades of orange, red, yellow and gold. They reach such beautiful heights before they die off, it is a bit melancholy really. 

10. Best Autumn Memory?

When I was smaller, and before we got the huuuuuge shed that now takes up a big chunk of the garden, we used to have lots of people over for fireworks. It was always a fun evening. One of my favourites was probably totally not safe, but still makes me chuckle. The men used to compete with each other as to who could bring the biggest firework... take from that what you will ;)! One year there was a firework that had multiple single shots, over 100 of them. Only, it was lit, and they all went off together. There was a huge bang, and bits of plastic and paper EVERYWHERE. We were still finding bits two or three years later. It still makes us laugh even now! 

11. Hottest Autumn Trend?

I am really liking the baroque printed skinny jeans around at the moment. So much so, I bought a pair yesterday. I haven't tried them on yet though. Also, the knitwear trends are amazing this year! I have a grey jumper with a penguin on which I adore. 

12. Tag 4 Favourite Bloggers!

4 of my fave bloggers have already been tagged, so I only have one more - the lovely Allison!

So that's my Autumn post done! Tell me what you love about Autumn - feel free to use the tag but leave me a link so I can read your favourites! 

It's Late on a Thursday Night...

...and since the local Legion closed, I have found myself with nothing to do on a Thursday evening. I used to call Bingo there. Sometimes it drove me absolutely scatty, but most of the time it was great fun, and while I don't necessarily miss the place, I do miss the people and the fun we had. 

So Thursdays have gone from being permanently occupied to perpetually vacant. Which I am still getting used to. I am not used to having this time spare, so finding something to fill it with is taking time, trial and error. Tonight has been Christmas Crocheting. I am making some presents this year, and I am really loving seeing them come together. I hope their recipients like them! It was all going swimmingly until I subluxed my left collarbone this evening. It is the first time I have done that, and it hurt. I feel a bit sick from it still. Ice is not doing a huge deal. I feel another uncomfortable night coming on. 

I haven't slept well now for a while. There was a brief respite last week, where I had a wee adventure and left myself exhausted, but then back into the cycle of no sleep/extreme fatigue/no sleep and so on. I've almost forgotten what it was like to go to bed and sleep well. Being comfortable is a huge part of it. I have been struggling with my shoulders (left in particular) for a while now, and being unable to sleep on my back is leaving me with no option but to lay on sore shoulders. Which = waking up sore to turn over. Repeat eleventyeight times and the night turns into the day before you know it. Morning rolls around, and I'm so tired from the crap night that I finally crash out, wasting the morning. So any bendy tips on comfort when sleeping would be most gratefully appreciated! 

I am aware I have been absent again, and for that I apologise. The last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, which I will go into in a different post. I didn't want to clog this place up with pure negativity, so I was waiting until I could see the bright side before I let the world know about it! I am almost there, so I feel like I can start posting things again without being too much of a negative Nancy. 

Having read this back, it has been a bit negative, whoops! Sorry about that. The crochet stuff is positive though. It's keeping me occupied and it's gratifying to see something I have made with love for someone come together. I have never found a craft that I have been any good at before, and whilst I am still not very good at it, I am improving, and I am really really enjoying it! Huzzah xD 

Right, I'm off to change my icepack and get in my jamas. If you have come back for another read after a bit of a break, then thank you, you lovely person you! I won't leave it so long next time *promise*

Nostalgia Q&A: A Brief Journey Through The Childhood Of Aporia

It's been a long time since a joint LBLC post, and I have to say that the theme of this one is probably my favourite so far! 

"There is no land like the land of your childhood"

- Michael Powell

"We carry our childhood with us"

- Gary D Schmidt

"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older"

- Tom Stoppard

I have never wanted to grow up. I still love the things I loved as a child, and I revisit them every now and then. Especially when I'm feeling low - they brighten my day and put a smile on my face. It's really exciting to be able to share them with you! So without further ado... welcome to the favourites of my childhood! 

Books

I was a huge reader as a child. I worked my way through so many books, spending hours in the library choosing them. It has been really hard to narrow this category down! I've chosen 5, but there are many many more...

The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

(Sweet Valley High) Return of the Evil Twin by Francine Pascal

What Katy Did by Susan M Coolidge

White Boots - Noel Streatfeild

There are so many more I wanted to include in this list! I have a lot of them on my E-Reader, and I have a feeling I will be revisiting them soon! 

TV Programmes

I had, and still have, a HUGE love for Rainbow. I collect Zippy memorabilia! It was my absolute favourite, and still brings a smile to my face when I see it now. 

Other favourites included:

Fun House

The Crystal Maze

The Raggy Dolls

Spot the Dog

Knightmare

It occurred to me recently that my love for The Raggy Dolls has a huge amount of irony. There is a character called Lucy who is made with faulty thread, which means her arms and legs fly off at random intervals. Sound familiar? Bendy readers will get this one! 

Music

As a tiny thing, I had a real thing for Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. As I got older, like Sizzle and Louise I got very into the Spice Girls. Who Do You Think You Are was my top Spice Girls song! 

Other favourites of mine were:

A1 - Ready Or Not

B*Witched - C'est La Vie

5ive - Keep On Movin'

Bon Jovi - It's My Life

Texas - Summer Son

Nowadays my taste has completely changed, but when I hear these I still sing along!

Films

I was a big Disney fan, but my favourites are not what you would usually expect - Mary Poppins and The Sword In The Stone are my top two. Closely followed by Robin Hood and The Rescuers! I was not a huge Princesses girl - I enjoyed them but they weren't my favourites. 

5 more films I loved as a kid:

Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (Gene Wilder is amazing!)

Honey I Shrunk The Kids

Short Circuit 2 (I sobbed when they beat him up!)

The BFG 

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Bands

I was a big Spice Girls fan. They were the first band I saw live, supported by Cleopatra (Comin' Atcha!). I LOVED Take That, but never got the chance to see them live back then (yes, I sobbed my heart out when they split). I did see Boyzone live with my cousin and her friend, but I don't really remember much, as I was very poorly at the time. As I got older, Westlife came along, but when I hit 15 I started listening to Kerrang, and my music tastes changed completely. System of a Down were one of my favourites to begin with, and then I was introduced to The Wildhearts. Love at first riff!

Magazine/Comic

I started off with The Animals Of Farthing Wood. Every week I would look forward to it arriving, and devouring it eagerly as soon as it came in. I remember once being in bed, it was still daylight and I was happily rereading an issue, when my dad heard me turn the pages from outside my door. I got into a lot of trouble for not going to sleep! As I got older, I moved on to Mizz, but that didn't last long, and I moved away from magazines until I got older and into some real trash! 

Games

The first console we had was a Sega Mega Drive, and I still have it. My favourite game of all time is Castle of Illusion. It was the only game I could play better than my brother could, and I can speed run it on normal difficulty in 30 minutes! 

More games I love(d):

Sonic The Hedgehog ("up, down, left, right, A, start" anyone?)

Columns (2 player Flash mode - addictive!)

True Pinball on PS1 - the Viking table was the best!

Crash Bandicoot on PS1

Chartbusters (an awesome Board Game based on the Music Industry)

Clothes

Once I was old enough to choose what I wore, I was a total tomboy. I refused all dresses and skirts, wrapped myself up in joggers, sweatshirts, polo shirts, football shirts... As time went by I mellowed it a bit, but followed the crowd - denim jackets with hoodies, Nickelson polo shirts *cringe*. I migrated from joggers into jeans, and then at 15 I moved into full on "grunger" fashion. Huuuuuuge wide legged jeans, band tees and hoodies, and black vest and strap tops.

Subject At School

I was a bit of a school nerd, I absolutely loved it. My favourite subject was Drama. I loved how I could express myself, have fun and just let loose. I was a big fan of English too - it involved reading! 

Food

One of my favourite meals as a kid was Dippy Egg and Marmite Soldiers. I still love it today, I find it really comforting. Grillsteak, Egg and Chips was another meal I loved too. 

Sweet(s)

I used to love going to the shop at the bottom of the road and getting some penny sweets! Gummy cherries, milk bottles, jazzies... but I loved Freddos and Tazos too. There began my chocolate love affair. Also, Sherbet Dipdab, Parma Violets and Fizzers used to come back with me in my little paper bag!

Hobby

My main hobby was reading. I used to spend hours in the Library after school (there was a time when I had no friends whatsoever, so books became my friends), immersing myself into a fictional world. I tried gymnastics, but was absolutely awful at it, ending up in a lot of pain (now I know why!). I tried to learn the recorder, but that didn't last long. I was fairly useless at hobbies, except for my reading. The only outdoor thing I enjoyed was a good game of Kerby. I didn't enjoy getting lumped with the ball running back to safety though! 

So there you have a quick look back through the childhood of Aporia. I could have gone on forever! I would love to read more Nostalgia posts, so if you have done one, please leave a link to it in the comments -  I always read and reply to them. 

Also, don't forget to check out the nostalgic posts from the other LBLC ladies:

Louise  Keshia  Karen  Rachelle