Checking In...

Hello Everyone, 

First off, I apologise for my last post! I was ranting and not really in a good place when I wrote it. 

So here's a run down of what has been happening in Aporia-Land...

• I did go to A&E about my knee. I was put into a brace (which was a total waste of time!), and referred to Orthopaedics, with a suspected ligament and/or tendon tear. I now have a much better brace and I'm waiting for an MRI Scan. Only downside to the brace is that Dad keeps calling me Forrest Gump! It's pretty badass though. I am locked in at a 20 degree angle.

• I also saw the Neurologist. He discovered there is a section of my spine which was missed when I had all those scans and xrays back in February. So I am waiting for another MRI Scan, and I am having my Gabapentin dosage increased to the highest prescription. 

• I finished my 72 granny squares! Wooo! With the help of my Dad and Mum, they were laid out on the floor to see how I wanted them. Photos were taken, and the squares were put into bags as per their row, so I can work on them and not get mixed up. (I was quite proud of that idea - my brain does work sometimes!). I have now started the edging. It's great to see my first project coming together!

• My friend Cat did my hair for me. It is beeeyooootiful. I was going to cancel because of my knee, but thought it would cheer me up. I'm so glad I didn't cancel, because I love what she did! I gave her Lavender and Violette Crazy Color dyes, and asked her to do something pretty. She came up with a purple ombre. I am in love with it!

• My laptop (Ruby) is very sick in the Pooter Hospital, under the care of Doctor Brother and Doctor Dad. I broke the power pin, which was bad enough, but some spiteful fucker managed to gain entry to my computer. It was virused to buggery and they got access to any passwords I had with a keylogger. Cue mass changing of passwords! My brother tried so hard to get rid of it, only for it to undo all of the hard work he did, so it has now been restored to factory settings, and any .exe files have been destroyed. At least we were able to save my docs, pics and music though! The new power pin has now arrived, and next week Ruby is scheduled for a very delicate soldering procedure. If you could please keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't go wrong, that would be great!

So that's been my last week really! I am going to paint my nails now, and if I do a nice enough job, I may put a picture up.

I will be back soon! 

Don't You Hate It When...

The thing you have been dreading comes to pass?

Since I hurt my back, I have been juggling that issue, with my ankle problem, and any other temporary EDS incidents which crop up along the way. 

It'a a horrid cycle - my ankle gives way, leading to a knee sublux or dislocation, which then both aggravate the pain in my back. Repeat for every step I take. 

I was taken off of crutches and put onto a zimmer frame when I hurt my back - and told I wouldn't be safe to go back onto them until they knew what was causing the nerve problems and severe pain. I have been using that to move around, but because of my back I have to stay weightbearing through the frame. When HulkFoot™ is giving me severe grief, I cannot give it a rest with non weightbearing time. So as time has gone on, my pain levels in other joints have been increasing. I have been wondering how long it would be before my knee would pick up an injury.

I don't have to wonder anymore. I woke up this morning screaming in pain. My knee is approximately the size of an orange. I am unable to bear weight on it without crying in pain. The pain is shooting both ways - up to my hip, and down to HulkFoot™. I am profoundly grateful that I do not have full feeling in my legs at the moment - if it hurts this much now, I cannot bring myself to think how badly it would hurt normally. 

I have a real conundrum now. Do I visit the hospital? Is there really anything they could do for me? I am already in possession of a zimmer frame, and on large doses of pain meds. An added issue is that I am home alone. My Mum and Dad are on holiday in Malta, Uberman is at work, and so is my brother. I have no cash here at all for a cab. So I physically couldn't get there anyway. I am due to see my ortho consultant on August 6th. Can I hold out until then? 

I am terrified. I desperately wish someone was here to try and help me be rational. I feel like I'm falling. If my knee is damaged, it will put me so much further back. I don't want to be further back. I want to move forward. I need a hug.

Scared.